….. Enough 

When I was 14 years old, I ran away and lived on the streets in Atlanta, Georgia for several weeks with my best friend at time. Thinking of all the terrible things that could have become of me is baffling and nothing short of miraculous, however we were taken in by a couple of neo-nazi skinheads who sheltered and fed us during this time. (Yes, even neo nazi skinheads can be caring)One night we went to a skinhead party with them and I met a “white power” skinhead named Christopher and we talked until a fight broke out. What intrigued me most about Christopher was that he was a young African-American who believed that something was inherently wrong with him and that he should be subservient to white people. I was confused by him. Up until then, I had never really thought much about race, but after that, I absolutely knew that I was in the wrong crowd and I needed to get away from these skinheads.

Although this part of my life story is embarrassing, interesting and complicated, I have to leave it there. Obviously, it left an indelible mark on me. And my story has a happy ending since I am writing this today. Clearly, I am lucky to have a loving family who has always supported me through my troubled times.

Although it may not be as obvious in places like America, it is blatantly clear in countries like South Africa in which race inequality is apparent.

However, it was the first time I became aware of my white privilege. I wouldn’t expect most white people to identify it let alone acknowledge it, but I know it’s a real thing. Not only have I experienced it first hand but I’ve lived its opposite vicariously through my husband, an Indo-Guyanese, and witnessed it with others. And no matter where I go, in South America, the Middle East, Asia or now in Africa, the attitudes toward race are consistent: the paler your skin is, the better. This attitude that was imprinted during imperialistic times still is in different cultures today.

Lately the international news is full of all things American- mostly the social discord brought about by Trump’s presidency. In particular, women are protesting him and his vision of “greatness”. However this has struck a chord with women around the world and these protests went global. Undoubtedly this confuses Trump supporters, men and women alike, with them thinking that he has been fair enough to women. Perhaps white women are “privileged enough” but what about the women of color- whether black, brown, yellow or red?-maybe they are tired of slathering on whitening cream and putting on pants to justify that they deserve a fair shake at the benefits afforded by men-especially white men- men like Donald Trump- who never had to make difficult choices about whether to buy food or diapers for his children. It seems clear to me that there is another perspective to this reality tv show called American politics that is being reflected across the oceans,  and ideas about race and gender are being challenged.

All I know is there seems to be a day of reckoning that is upon us as we hold our collective cultural beliefs up to the light.  This is a time for reconciliation, courage and thoughtful action. To be unaffected by these events seems impossible and it has definitely stirred up a lot of emotion, even for non-Americans. As I am a tourist here in South Africa, a nation still grappling with its recent past of apartheid, I am wondering if I treat my fellow humans with the dignity and kindness that should be afforded to all people, or am I just being “good enough” to them.

From my Christian background, this is one of those bible verses that clings to my heart and reminds me that kindness and understanding should be my compass as I encounter others.

I know that I can’t change the inequities of the world but I can change my behavior as I interact with others. I can see others in their humanity and embrace the differences between us. I can acknowledge that their struggles are real and offer them genuine compassion- not pity or indifference- but respect for who they are and encourage them. We are all one. I truly know that with every fiber of my being. The Catholic faith taught me that first and my life experience continues these lessons. I can be more forgiving, more patient, more willing to see others’ perspectives.

I do not know if this “enough” but I feel that this is the soundest action to take in the moment.

A Love Protest: The Donald’s Presidency

My doubt and questioning is not the point of this blog post. However, for sensibility’s sake, I make my disclaimer: I did not support Donald Trump to become President. For the same reason why I want a highly qualified teacher in charge of my child’s learning at school and also why don’t want my manicurist to fly my plane to China–I believe that not just anybody can do any job, especially without proper training, even a business celebrity like Donald Trump. However to allow this to become a rant would be useless, and, quite frankly, doesn’t move us forward in our humanity.There are all kinds of data that are expressed through this man, which I feel could serve us in developing our consciousness. I think there is a wonderful divine lesson to be learned if we can get beneath the story of this election and the personality of this man, taking a moment to reflect and connect with the threads that bind us.

First of all, everything happens for a reason. Whether you study the science of the cosmic or the microscopic levels of life, there are integrated pathways that are set into motion with the slightest effort.  We all conspired to make this a reality. Let’s take responsibility for that. We, as a humanity, agreed to this, even if it wasn’t consciously. There was a deep yearning to “Make America Great Again” long before Trump, and he just happens to embody this ideal. (Maybe some of you didn’t have him in mind as the leader to this anthem).

Truth: You Can’t HATE Your Way to Love.

No matter how hard you squeeze an orange, you are not going to get apple juice out of it. Likewise, there is no amount of hating that will bring about love and personal peace. Not going to happen, people. So you have to make a choice, do you continue to point out his shortcomings and secretly wish to avenge the other half of your friends and family who voted for him? Or do you transform your disdain by practicing principles of equity and acceptance, beginning with the guy who cut you off in traffic?

When you hold people in judgment and anger, it’s like that idea of building a wall on the Mexican border.  Yeah Trump thinks Mexico is going to willingly finance it, but you also irrationally believe that the person you are cussing out in traffic is also going to pay for his misdeed and suffer. Nope, that person has moved on, and so should you. You can’t build walls of hostility–there’s a price that you pay for your acrimony. The Chinese proverb reminds us of that: if you aremartin-luther-king-quote seeking revenge, best you dig 2 graves–one for yourself and one for the other person.

So, get clear that you have to love no matter what. No matter how ugly, profrane and stupid you may find people or ideas, there’s always something valuable in them. Start looking for possible ways to find the silver lining and become connected to our common humanity. I love the advice that the hero Martin Luther King Jr offers during his call to action during the Civil Rights Movement, which couldn’t be more poignant today.

So, as we move forward in the next 4 years of this man’s leadership, here are some ideas that I intend to employ when embracing the “pussy grabbing man who colludes with the Russians”.

  1. See the child-like innocence in the person–if they knew better, they’d do better. Even Trump.(And I hold this level of compassion for my own failings, which are many). I trust in the goodness in one’s intentions and try to extend goodwill towards them.
  2. Remind myself: We are all learning here! Some are mentally, emotionally and spiritually in kindergarten and others have advanced degrees. However, having an advanced degree doesn’t make you an expert unless you exercise your knowledge in meaningful ways.
  3. We are different versions of each other and act as a mirror, reflecting what is “good” and “bad” in ourselves. The same faults or virtues are contained within the human seed, so I need to look more deeply at how I judge others. So what is Trump showing me about me? How am I thin-skinned? How am I shallow and petty? Likewise, what am I charismatic about? What ideals can I renew (make America great again)?

Speaking of  Greatness?

The idea of making America great again is a vision that all of us support. You god-confusioncould say greatness is strength or power, but I think defining it is personal. And so is the task of being great!

But it’s not something outside of us, it’s not done unto us, but through us–through our actions, words and deeds. So I am deciding now to tune his Tweet diplomacy out and focus on ways that I can be a better version of myself. To look at him through the eyes of the heart, feeling grateful that he has brought up so many issues that need to be reviewed and reflected on. And, it is my hope that I can come out a better, more peaceful human being as a result of this experience. At the end of the day, no one is in charge of my Joy except for me. So it is my responsibility to practice goodness, kindness, and compassion to facilitate the greatness that I believe is possible. It is my intention that I  develop the courage and determination to go to the outer limits of loving humanity so that I may be transformed into the teacher, mother, and wife that I aspire to be.

I’ve heard that nothing proves that you love someone more than mentioning them in your prayers. So let this prayer for Trump demonstrate to my commitment to love:

As God is the molder of human clay, I pray for that you are shaped into a model of compassion, strength, and love. I pray that you lead with a sound mind and your judgments are wise. I pray that your thoughts be soothed so you speak peace. I pray that your heart feels empathy deeply and you connect with a broader perspective of the people you serve. I pray that you look upon God’s creation, our natural resources and creatures large and small,  and desire to protect it. I pray that you bring about actions that unite, not only America but the whole world. I pray that your decisions bring about prosperity for all.   I finally pray for your health and the wellbeing of your family. 

I pray this, not only for you President Trump but for all the leaders in government.

Amen.

(As I look at this prayer, I think that I could just an easily pray this prayer for myself as I could for Trump. Hmm… as I look in “the mirror”, it seems that all the fear and hope that I have for him also resides in myself. Perchance you feel the same way .)